• Charles R. Butts Jr.

A Balanced Imbalance (Chapter 2)

On the surface, those who know or have heard of me would think my life was perfect and I have everything to live for. I'm Zachary Price, aka DJ Zach of Zach in the AM fame. I host the number one syndicated radio show in the nation. I also co-host a local TV show, promote parties and work the best clubs in Atlanta. In addition to running my own charitable foundation, I'm set for life financially and loaded with all the material wealth anyone could ever want or need. I'm in the who's who of Atlanta and one of its most eligible bachelors to boot. But on the inside, where one's true happiness and real treasure lies, I'm completely empty, tapped out. With every passing moment, it feels like the hole grows darker and deeper. So much so, that no hospital, meds and group therapy can ever come close to healing me.

At the hospital, after my stomach's been pumped and I'm stabilized, I'll be moved upstairs to the psych ward. Normally, it's only a seventy-two hour observation, but suicide attempts indicate an intent to harm one's self. Prior to this attempt, I'm usually escorted in shackles to the ward under an assumed name. Freedom and decision making for myself will be taken away. I'll say whatever I have to say, and do whatever I must do to get out of here. I'm unsure how the police even knew to come to my house to check on me, but I suspect my assistant Stephanie called them. She's Gail's sister, my show's producer. They're both very protective of me and I can always count on their loyalty and discretion. Truth is, I don't deserve them- they're the closest thing I've ever had to a family. My shows and other businesses can take care of themselves. I've always been fortunate to have great people around me. I just don't feel worthy of it.

After reluctantly signing the admission papers, my psychiatrist, Dr. Joshua Lucas paid me a visit. I feel guilty because I really like him. Along with the group and individual therapy, he'll try different meds with me to see which ones work best.The most successful one was lithium, but I was on it so long it began to affect my kidneys. I took so much that at times I felt like a battery. And since I see only one way out of my darkness and despair, I'll take my time and be patient. I won't even try to escape. I'll end the pain for good once I'm released.

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